


This Ain't The Summer of Love

by Skatearound



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-30
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-20 20:10:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9511244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skatearound/pseuds/Skatearound
Summary: Veronica comes back to Hearst after he FBI internship. Logan isn’t there.





	1. Lock all your doors from the outside

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own any of these characters.
> 
> No beta, may be drowning in a sea of commas....  
> This isn't a romance, meaning that the goal or theme or primary purpose isn't to further a romantic relationship. This is me trying to figure out the characters and Veronica trying to figure out her life.

 “She’s cute, but she’s cuckoo. She wouldn’t be his daughter if she wasn’t. You can’t tell how much of what she says is what she thinks. And you can’t tell how much of what she thinks ever really happened.” –Dashiell Hammett, **The Thin Man**

**Friday September 7, 2007**

Veronica thought her Dad would insist on doing the driving and they’d joke back and forth, he’d have old rock songs on the radio. Piz would sing to her and they’d sing together, silly songs, that would be fun. She missed Piz a lot, she’d emailed him while she was in Virginia and he didn’t understand how she felt, at all, but she understood that Logan had beaten him up and then beaten up someone else in front of him and Piz probably thought she was dangerous to befriend. Piz was probably right. Veronica needed people who would focus on the future, not the past. She’d met Alexis at the FBI internship, she went to school in San Diego and Veronica would see her this coming year, Sean went back to Florida and she already missed his good humor.  She winced thinking of how little support she’d been to Wallace the last year. She’d ask Wallace about his internship. His classes. Make it up to him.

Wallace appeared to her right, seatbelt on, wearing jeans and Lakers t-shirt.  

“You went surfing, Veronica? With a rich guy? Apparently Dick was right.” Wallace snorted to himself, leaned back in his seat, stretched his legs.

“Vodka gives you less of a hangover?” Veronica squinted at a sign. “A woman’s true worth can be judged by her cup size? …Oh, look, coming into Grand Junction soon.”

“You need the break, I saw you swallow a yawn. Does anyone know your route and when you expect to get to Las Vegas? Your Dad?”

“Yeah, like I’d tell him.”  Pause. “I did tell him but he told me I shouldn’t do it, so now I’m not arranging the schedule around him. Not you. You aren’t actually here, you know. I know you’re back now but when I was actually arranging it you were in Africa. Mac and Mattie knows. It’s Mattie’s truck and Mattie’s dog. She was one of the instructors at Quantico, she’s taking over Landry’s job, she comes from Neptune and her mother is sick. She’s going to have me do work study as her assistant on some cases.  Which is exciting. Dick was right about what?”

“You attract rich guys and break their hearts.”

“How did you guess Sean was rich?” Veronica wisely decided not to get into Logan with Wallace. She had no idea what she would have Wallace say. “Didn’t break Sean’s heart.”

“Did, too.”

“Did not. The phone rang. “Hi, Dad.”  Wallace poofed out of existence.

“Are you driving?” Keith asked.

“Well, yeah. I have to get back to Hearst sometime. “

 “Can you pull over for a minute. I don’t want you driving when you’re talking on the phone.”

“Yeah, there’s that gas station, yeah, it has bears in the back. They look hungry. Oh, Daddy, the guy has his teeth filed sharp. Cute, he’s waving.”

“Veronica, I’ll call you back in ten.”

“Oooh, banjos…” Veronica hung up and found a place for gas on Horizon Drive, bought some coffee and took Killer out on the leash. The sky was covered in stars but the lights blocked a lot of them and she reminded herself to stop when it was full dark and look up at the sky.

“Hi, Daddy.”

“So when will you get in? I’ve missed you.”

“I’m driving to Vegas, when I get there I’ll get a room and go to sleep. Get into one of those high stake poker games to make my tuition, If I get enough I’ll be back in Neptune …” Keith sighed. “It’s arranged that I’ll miss a week of classes, I’ll go to Mattie’s first, drop off Killer and her stuff and she’ll drive me to the apartment to pick up the Saturn.”

“So, what did you decide you’re taking this year? You were wavering the last time I talked to you. I want to say I like the idea of English literature.”

“Life’s a bitch until you die.” She pulled out a plastic bag and scooped.

“Pope, wasn’t that, honey? You’re a natural.”

“Uh, huh. Sorry, scooping. Poop, not Pope. Who’s a good doggo?” Veronica rooted around for a milkbone in her tote bag, gave one to Killer. Killer was big enough for the bigger bones but liked the little flavored ones, cheese was her favorite.  “ Um, sorry Dad, distracted. Oh, Spanish, I think it is something I’ll need to know. I’m listening to a tape while I drive.  I’ll get credit for working with Mattie investigating the cold case, abnormal Psychology, Studio Photography, I’ve been taking an online course in it, too, history of photography, I can get some credits when I finish, a computer science course. Working for Mattie , she’s teaching and doing a project for the FBI in San Diego, so I’ll get more experience there.”

“Sounds like you’re happy about it. How’s the driving cross country going?”

“Oh, that’s great, fantastic. Actually, the college is hardly important because I’m taking a truck driving course next summer, there’s one in Las Vegas, more than one, and I’ll pick up some brochures on my way through. After that I’m driving the big rigs and solving crime at the rest stops, Dad, it’s the best.” She sat on a bench and started to brush Killer fondly with a small red rubber brush she retrieved from the same tote bag that contained the plastic bags, dog biscuits, her wallet and Taser.  “It’s my calling in life. But I plan to finish college of course. Once I start, mostly online….”

Keith had enough experience with Veronica to ignore her. “So, this is the first time you’ve used a manual transmission? None of our cars had one.”

Veronica realized why he hadn’t sounded happy when she told him her plan, well, maybe not just being an overprotective jerk. Oh, well. “You learn quick up in them there mountains, had a couple of close calls but managed to grab onto a tree and pull myself up…you know, Dad, really… I used to hang with Lily. Well, Aaron hired a driver who did stunt driving on one of his movies and then he hit on her and she was disgusted so she quit and she was hired by the Kane’s. Her mother was sick and she wanted to stay around Neptune for a while. (thoughtful) I think she was one of Weevil’s cousins. Weevil’s many cousins. Pissed Aaron off, probably…. well, pissed him off. She taught Lily to drive, Jake was busy teaching Duncan, and she taught me. We did all kinds of crazy driving, I’m actually pretty good. Then her mother…died and she went back to the movies.”

“You never told me?”

“Well, it wasn’t ladylike enough for Mom, you know, that was the main thing. She was so happy that Lilly was such a girl.” Veronica snorted a little, a kind of laugh with a sob in the middle. “You were sheriffing double time at that point and it really didn’t come up. When I fulfilled my 50 hours of driving experience I don’t know if you figured it was with Mom? Anyway, I thought you wanted me to be a girl, too.”

“You are a girl, honey.  So, when am I going to meet your new friend?”

“Killer?” Veronica got up, leading killer back to the truck and let her into the crate, closed it, and climbed into the driver’s seat and dug out a sandwich. “MMM…roast beef and chickpeas?” she looked at it curiously and Killer pushed her hand with her nose. She gave Killer a shred of roast beef.

“Veronica?”

“Sorry. Yes, you should absolutely meet Alex and Mattie. You can also tell them embarrassing stories and snicker, like always. When I get in we’ll talk. Maybe we’ll all meet for dinner at Mama Leones. I miss Mama Leones.”

“She misses you. It was a big financial loss for them this summer.”

“Ha, ha.”

**The next day**

“Hi, Mac!” Veronica stripped to her bra and panties and flexed her knees up and down, rotated one arm, switched phone hands and rotated the other arm, shrugged her shoulders, too tired but stiff in all the wrong places, yawning, happy in her cheap Las Vegas motel room.

“Ugh. Are you, whatdoyoucallit? awake? That’s just perverse.”

“Oh, no, well, yes, just trying to loosen up enough to sleep. Is Parker back? How’s the room? Am I still moving in?” Veronica wasn’t happy about the idea of taking a random dorm room, but it could happen.

“Glarble.” Mac said clearly. “Snoggleglarble.” She made a noise that sounded like she was blowing her nose on a cat.

Veronica adjusted her expectations. “I’m alive.  We’ll talk later.”

“Sounds good.” Mac hung up.

Much later Veronica was in a restaurant having a large meal involving a gallon of coffee when her phone rang.

“So,” yawn, “Hi, Mac.”

“Whatja doing?”

“Eating and drinking coffee. I’ve showered. I’m wearing clean clothes. I washed my hair, put it back in one of those comb thingies.” Veronica pulled bacon out of her second turkey club sandwich and ate the fatty edge first. She gulped some coffee and poured more out of the carafe.

“All by yourself?”

“Well, this soccer team helped. Touring a foreign country, trying to improve relations.”

“uh, huh.”

“So, what’s happening at Hearst?”

“Big question. A whole bunch of people are walking around and I don’t know any of them. Parker is back, surprised me, but she’s, she decided at the last minute and found a room off campus, some house with other students.”

“Logan?” Veronica took apart her sandwich and ate a bite of toast with miracle whip, made a face.  

“No, I checked and he’s no longer registered at Hearst or the Grand. I knew you’d ask.”

Veronica took a mouthful of the rather dry turkey from her deconstructed sandwich before she remembered it was her turn to talk and shoved it into her cheek, saying indistinctly: “So, if he’s living with her, Parker, he’s not a student.” Dammit, Lo. She chewed quickly but couldn’t get the food soft enough to swallow.  “ How’s Dick?”

“Swallow first. He’s not living with her. It’s a bunch of girls. Dick is staying in his frat house. Wallace is back in the dorm, Piz is his roommate again, same as it every was except now you! In the dorm. And no Logan, which is okay with the rest of us, really, but …”

“His phone was disconnected.” Veronica took a swallow of coffee. “What about that website project? I thought you guys were getting close.”

“I was paid, Veronica, but yeah, I kinda liked him by the end of the year, except for the beating up Piz thing. I’m keeping it running for now, but I haven’t heard anything.  It looks like a profitable venture.  Are you O.K?”

“No. Yes. I’m fine.” Veronica really didn’t know what to think. Relief, sadness, that sensation when you swallow a huge mouthful too quickly and it sticks in your throat and hurts, no that was really happening.  Loss. A lot of loss, and an actual fear of choking. It took her a while to work the food down. “I’m fine with him not being there.” _I’m not fine with him not telling me where he was going. I’m not fine with not knowing where he is._ “I talked a lot with Piz over the summer. We’re okay, I think, but we’re not together. It isn’t my choice, Mac, he thinks I’m still in love with Logan and I really think that’s too bad because it isn’t like that. I met this guy over the summer, too, but he lives in Florida. We went surfing a little, with Alexa.

“You told me about Sean and Alexa. Did you ever surf with Logan?”

“A long time ago. Did Logan lament that I didn’t surf with him or something?”

“No, but he mentioned it. He was going to take Parker on that surfing trip until Dick bailed, you know. He said, just once, that he wished it was you.”

“Swell. You meet any guys this summer?”

“I, myself, did an internship at Google, met no boys to bring home but met lots of boys and learned how to play air hockey. Enjoyed Palo Alto.”

“Finest kind. High five owed.” Veronica thought sadly of Stanford and of Mac and Carnegie Mellon in Silicon Valley, wanting them to be living close together somewhere away from Neptune. It had felt good to be away from Neptune, except for missing her Dad and friends.

“I also took a couple of surfing lessons with Ryan before I left, maybe we can go together. Ryan’s a good teacher.”

“Uh huh. Yes, definitely.” Veronica’s relationship with surfing in Neptune was tied up with a lot of confusing Logan things.

“Glad to come back?” Mac was eating an apple, a juicy one by the sound of it, and talked around the mouthful of fruit.

“Not sure. Happy to see you, my Dad, Backup, Wallace…. Neptune? I think I’m really tired of Neptune.”

“I had a dream.” Mac said, mouth free of apple. “there were harpies flying over Hearst and the students, they would reach some achievement, they were pixel people, it was a video game, and the harpies would come down and grab the little hearts and little diplomas and little lightbulb ideas away from them. I think I’m doing a mobile gaming class next year and that will be one of my projects, you can help.”

“That would make me feel better. Can there be rocket launchers?”

“Oh, yeah, definitely.”

**Friday, August 31, 2007**

“So you’re changing your major?” Veronica took a piece of chicken from the bucket. “Does this look like rat to you?” She examined a chicken wing.

“I think so. Major, not rat. Definitely chicken or pigeon. Last year….”

Veronica coughed.

“No, Veronica it doesn’t have anything to do with that. No threats or…you know, they would probably have given me something I couldn’t earn, but I wouldn’t have joined the Castle. You know that, not my kind of people. No loss, no foul.”

“Still, you’ve wanted to…”

“Be a mechanical engineer, yeah, but it was nice working with kids this summer. There are other things to do, things I can be good at, so I’m not changing everything right now, but I’m looking at my options.” Wallace grinned. “Mature? Yeah!” Fist pump, caught the bucket of chicken as it fell off the table.

“Maybe mature is a stretch.” Veronica grinned. “Hey, I’m sorry about last year. For some reason I ended up,” deep breath.  “…I almost gave up.”

“Yeah, I came up against some hard truths, too.” Wallace put his chicken bone on a napkin. “So, the FBI?”

“Maybe. Landry said something, anyway, the woman FBI instructors we had are looking for women that can think outside the box. You know, if you follow orders you stay in the steno pool, but if you follow orders while bending them far enough to get things done, my personal specialty, you can go far. So they say.”

“Um, director?”

“I doubt that.” Veronica said thoughtfully around a mouthful of fries. The idea of having all of those minions was oddly intriguing.

**Saturday, September 8, 2007**

Veronica remembered her first morning run at Quantico, she honestly thought she might die. She had never run before, I mean yeah run for the car, not…this. She had trouble catching her breath, her heart was pounding and she was obviously going to be the laughingstock of this FBI internship thing. That big guy, Sean, just looked like a damn robot and Dale ran marathons, he said so, and her body was essentially useless. She couldn’t catch her breath. She was the John Goodman of FBI interns. The cigarette smoking man, the early years. It was ridiculous. She was doubled over, gasping. She couldn’t even fake this because she honestly thought she might die. “Pig-faced Fudge Pig.” She emulated her father, who had tried not to use actual swearwords in front of his cute little girl, once upon a time. “Strangely shaped hole collector.” It made her feel oddly cheerful and after a few more gasping breaths she resumed running and now a few months later it was her favorite. Mac refused to join her.

Veronica ran along the beach thinking about a photography project. She could do a ‘where’s Waldo” with Logan and she had enough pictures to photoshop him in, but he wasn’t around to give consent. Still, it was an idea. Maybe something noir, grainy black and white shading to gray blues and greens. Wallace, or even her Dad might dress up for her, she could be the PI and make her Dad the femme fatale. Backup would have a part to play, too. Later in the food court she talked to Mac about the game they were designing.

  _I told myself I would try to have some free time now that I’m not fighting with Logan. That was a real time sink and so sad but I still miss him so much._


	2. The key will dangle by the inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica goes to a party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own these characters.
> 
> Still unedited and flying blind.

**Saturday, October 27, 2007**

“Stop yer damn whining.” Wallace said. “God, you’re a party pooper. You’ve weaseled out of every party, wild or otherwise, over the past two months.”

“I could study so much tonight.” Veronica complained. Mac and Wallace had talked her out of her costume idea, a trench coat with oversized man’s pants, shirt and tie and a fedora.  Mac dug out a cat costume she’d found in a thrift shop in San Diego. Probably left over from a stage show, it was a skin-tight black sequined leotard with a hood that zipped over her face and black mesh inserts over the eyes, tail that looped around her wrist with a black rhinestone bracelet and ears that twitched with a remote control in the palm of one glove. Whiskers and paw pads on the palms of her gloves, fuzzy toed slippers for her feet. Well made. She hadn’t meant to wear it, it was just too nice to leave there. “And I’m not a cat person.” Mac had forced it on her, using a picture of her in her unicorn poop scarf as blackmail. _Bought in the same thrift shop, what had she been thinking?_

“I did find the costume in your closet.” Mac was dressed as a robot, with flashing lights sewn into the outfit. She was sitting on her bed, with a comforter that looked like a circuit board and a pair of chenille robot throw cushions.

“My mistake. Why are you digging through my closet?”

“You have some really neat things in there, Veronica. You should wear them.” Mac shook her right hip and light trailed over her pelvic bone and up her back. She adjusted something in a thin box she was holding and used a tiny screwdriver to close it and put it back on her wrist.

“I do.” Veronica protested. “You could borrow something.”

“My costume is better.” Mac was smug. “It lights up.”

“It is cool.”

Wallace was dressed in the private investigator outfit. “Too late, you can’t have this back.” He said. He had a fake gun he’d carved out of soap and a black spray painted plastic seagull that wobbled in a disturbingly undead manner. “Maltese Seagull.” He said to Veronica when she turned around and looked at it. Veronica rolled her eyes. “Girls love seagulls. Hey, Veronica, all of that running and stuff has paid off.” He looked at her. “You look good.”

Veronica rolled her eyes again, but realized he couldn’t see them and unzipped the costume to let Mac put on her cat makeup. The room she shared with Mac looked like home now, she had sheets and a comforter that were covered with pictures of pit bulls (thanks, Dad. I feel like a six year old boy. It probably was her Dad trying to cock block and it was working, no sex in sight), a locked filing cabinet because she was naturally suspicious, though not of Mac, an actual sexy dress hanging in the closet, in case she ever went on a date, maybe more than one sexy dress. Piz, dressed as David Bowie in his glitter rock phase, slipped in behind Wallace.  His hair had been hacked shaggier and it worked. “Hi, Piz, Jess.” Veronica waved and then shut her eyes so Mac could apply the eyeliner. Jess, Piz’s new girl, was probably Joan Jett. Parker was having a party and they were all ordered to come.

Veronica thought and realized she hadn’t been to a party she wasn’t working, or you know, one of those work events, like at the end of the internship when they’d had pizza, well, since Shelley’s party.  Well, she’d dropped in on some that reinforced her belief that parties suck, hadn’t been to many parties since Shelley’s party. So, Wallace had a point, dammit. She didn’t want to go to a party ever again, especially one that would remind her of the first year of Hearst. If Logan was there she would murder Parker. Honestly, still no idea where Logan was but ruining a party for Veronica? It was his thing. He’d be on the arm of some beautiful blonde who looked just like Marilyn Monroe, all cool and sophisticated or alternatively he’d be drunk and aspirating his own vomit and she’d have to go to the emergency room, or he’d be announcing his marriage to Parker or worst of all, he’d want to get together with her and she’d have to reject him again. Then he’d need her help with something heartbreaking and she’d fail three classes while he cried on her shoulder. No good choices. She didn’t want to mess up the makeup but she did feel like running somewhere alone and crying. _I’m afraid of how rotten I’m going to feel afterwards._ Her four friends were looking at her oddly, especially Jess, who wouldn’t understand anything about what was going on.

“Hey.” Wallace put an arm around her. “Parties are supposed to be fun, you know. You really don’t have to, it isn’t like Parker was ever, you know…”

“No, I’m ready.” She really wanted to stay home.

Parker rented a big house with ten other girls, it was honestly nice.  There was a porch with chairs and a swing chair and a yard they’d hung with tiny lights and plastic rats and bats and skulls with candles and a table inside set with brain mold gelatin that looked moldy and had gummy worms running through it, litterbox chocolate cake, the classics. The lawn was bare in places, lots of foot traffic and not well maintained street side. Candles were stuck in pieces of old wood and silhouettes of ravens were cut out of construction paper and taped on the walls. Weird lighting, weird music.  The house had been a Hearst off campus residence for a while, not an official one, but long enough to have adopted a lot of worn but comfortably mismatched couches and chairs. Someone had painted a fake rug on the vinyl flooring under the kitchen table, it was a while ago and it was covered with scratches. One of the residents in the past was an art major and one wall had a mural of a naked man and woman, very abstract with strokes of paint indicating merging together and the motion of two people having sex. It made Veronica feel nostalgic.

Parker was dressed as a 1920s flapper with kitten heeled shoes and a glittery headband and a whole lot of fringe.  She bounced around the party, hugged Veronica and Mac and pulled Wallace into a dance for a minute before flittering off. Veronica saw a couple of guys in the corner that were in her computer science class, one of them nodded at her as he made a beeline for Mac.

Veronica didn’t run into Parker much these days, mostly in the food court meeting Mac or Piz, but she’d met about six of Parker’s roommates who were at the party with their significant others, there were her own core group of friends, Dick and some of his frat brothers. Veronica had kept her face mask on until Dick came up behind her and grabbed her crotch and she’d reflexively slugged him, now he was wandering around with the beginnings of a black eye looking resentful and she decided that she’d better wear her own face to the party. Dick would likely accuse her of assault for the hell of it but everyone saw him grab her, and Dick even knew why she might respond badly. She’d tried to talk to him. “Dick, do you understand why it isn’t cool to grab my crotch?”

“Yeah, because you’re a crazy fucking bitch.”

“Oh, fuck you, Dick”

“That’s what I like to hear.” (gestures with hand over crotch, pumps hips).

(…)

 Veronica padded over to the Formica table in the kitchen and ran a gloved finger over the chipped edge of the mint green and pink table, for the first time in ages thinking about Celeste. Did she meet Jake at a party like this? One where richer and poorer folk ended up mixing? Derailing Lianne’s life? Veronica looked at the collection of open liquor bottles and then went to the refrigerator and found some bottles of beer and an opener on the counter. She was learning to like beer a little, once she’d stopped trying Bud Lite and the other beers that smelled like the drains in the River Stix. You could usually find unopened beer, which was a plus.

Outside the kitchen door she could see a group of people smoking dope in the back yard. Veronica had lost track of Mac and Wallace and wandered out there for something to do. The first person she recognized was Madison Sinclair, incongruously dressed as an angel. She had glitter all over her that reflected the fairy lights and an expensive set of gossamer wings,  of course expensive.  Veronica zipped her costume over her face and moved back into the shadow of a large tree. She was surprised to identify two more as Carrie Bishop and Casey Gant. She tried to remember if she’d ever learned where Casey was going to college. She would have guessed the Ivy League, which would make a trip home now of year unlikely. Stanford, maybe?  Carrie, no idea. One glanced in her direction and she reflexively slid behind the tree, looked up and realized that with luck she could climb to a branch and observe. She was up there before she could think and then made sure she thought she could get down again. _Headline: college girl dressed as a cat treed, fire department intervenes to get her down…this is what people meant when they said she acted recklessly. Well, worked out this time._

She could reverse her route easily enough, using hand holds for foot holds and she wasn’t that far up, if she was six feet tall she’d probably just jump down. From her she could climb not far along a big branch and get to the wooden fence, wider than the balance beam in the gym where they’d practiced gymnastics for pep squad. She was good to go and turned her attention to Madison, who had dragged Carrie closer to the tree. Carrie had overdyed her hair blue and was wearing enough eye makeup to weigh down her lids, she looked half asleep, but she didn’t seem to be dressed in a costume, just black skinny pants and a black shirt and black leather jacket.  Casey was talking to a fat kid dressed as, lord help us, Tarzan.

Veronica froze and made sure her breathing was quiet.

“How’s UCLA?” Madison asked. “Lots of good men?”

“It’s okay.” Carrie was looking around, not really interested in Madison. “I hoped I’d see more of the old group here.” She said. “Casey asked me and I’m just here because my aunt’s in town, but maybe, I thought…”

“I hear that skank Veronica’s around somewhere.”

Veronica had left her beer at the base of the tree, she regretted that.  

“Really?” Carrie perked. “Does that mean Logan’s around?”

“No, he’s left town, no one knows where. Couldn’t stand to be near her.” Madison sneered. “She gave Dick a black eye earlier. She should be put away, you know. Crazy bitch.”

“She usually has a reason, if I remember.” Carrie was back to seeming disinterested. She took a long swallow from the red plastic cup in her hand. “What did Dick do?”

“Grabbed her from behind, but it’s a party, what does she expect?” Madison defended her high school boyfriend.

“Well, there you are.” Carrie noticed Casey, or Zorro, stepping away from Fat Tarzan and straightened. “Hey, Casey, are we almost finished here?”

“Carrie, you need to learn how to have fun, girl.” Casey grabbed her around the waist. “Let’s go inside.”

Veronica sat for a moment, felt the branch sway as imaginary Logan appeared at the edge of her vision, closer to the trunk of the tree. Her first impulse was to lean into him, like she did that time when they climbed a tree in his parent’s compound and watched a party for hours while Lilly slept off too much vodka, but she knew he’d pop out of existence. “Going to tell me where you are?” she murmured to him, almost feeling the warmth of his breath. She imagined his costume, had trouble thinking of one that would suit him right now, wanted him to be himself. No cargo pants, jeans worn to the shape of his body, t-shirt just big enough and no larger, the outline of his chest and his nipples under the t shirt, the way his cock would twitch when she leaned into him. Strong forearms…. _I’m horny. Fuck me, literally. This isn’t making my life easier._

“Nope.” He put emphasis on the ‘p’ sound, puffing air. “Nope.” They sat together in comfortable silence. “You need to go down and join the party, Veronica. What would Lilly say about you giving up?”

“Yeah, I’d hate to miss talking to Madison.” She felt a rush of resentment, just for no reason, resentment.

“Oh, and fuck you, too, what is her big sin? That Dick tried to drug her and rape her. What a monster she is!” Logan whispered and she felt the tree move as he got up to leave.

_Because I’m clearly insane. And you. Don’t forget that, oh, you don’t even know about the lingerie thing. Just…_ “Don’t go.” _Yes, fuck me. The tree stopped moving._ She felt like this would be easier if he were holding her. “You’re still friends with Dick, or you know, you would be if…if you were actually here.”

“Dick actually made me feel like he liked me. You always felt like you would slip away.”

Veronica nodded sadly. “Didn’t mean to.”

“I know.”

“Madison was a real bitch to me, long time. That thing at the party wasn’t really the problem. Aspen wasn’t the problem either.”

“You could have fooled me.” Said Logan.

“Uh huh. We were just going to fight again. You were going to leave me eventually, find someone who doesn’t go to parties and hide in trees. I’m not like my mother, I thought about it. I’m like my Dad, I stay even when it’s stupid. I would have stayed forever, being a bitch because…you run at the smallest thing.  It hurt, Logan, it felt better when we weren’t together. You, too, I saw you with Parker, You were having fun together ... I couldn’t do that for you.” Veronica stared off over the fence at a dark three story house that looked haunted. She saw something move in the window. _All we did was fight and fuck and I wasn’t good at either one._

“You didn’t think I wanted you?” Logan snaked his head around and looked in her eyes, searching for something.

_Obviously._ “You wanted, I don’t know, it was so damn depressing being with you. Then suddenly you were sweet and happy with her and you still followed me around making me feel like shit. Beating up Gory when I asked you not to….”

“I was defending your honor.” Logan was affronted.

“Yeah, fuck you, stop it.”

“You liked it.”

“I’m trying to get over that. It’s…like breaking my headlights. I had a new boyfriend. You had a new girlfriend. You don’t need to do jackass crap to get my attention.” Logan straighted stiffly and started to pull away. “ I know, “Veronica reached for him and hit a sharp twig, but it didn’t hurt. What had they been talking about before this fighting again? “I know Madison was a victim at the party, too, same as me. But she didn’t even get hurt and I…” She leaned her head against Logan’s chest and jerked, her cheek touching the bark of the tree. _Did I fall asleep? I could have fallen!_

Veronica took a minute to compose herself and checked the back yard. Now her palm hurt from stabbing it on the branch, which didn’t make sense. Had she been asleep or not? Fat Tarzan and extremely tall Jane with no hips, probably a guy, were talking with their backs to her when she slipped down to the ground, unzipped her face mask and went in the house and got another beer from the refrigerator, opened it and put on a happy face. Too ‘Amber’? Tried another, but no one will believe Betty, no one here, a little less Betty. Not that she really ever did that socially because who would want Amber’s friends, or have to act like Betty all the time? She shook her head and laughed at herself. She focused outward and saw some guy, Jason? Jace! He was in one of her classes last year, no, he worked at the library, cute guy with fine black hair, golden skin and he seemed to work out a lot. Not, tall but taller than she was, it was a good height to be with.  He was looking at her with a bemused expression because she was making faces and laughing at the invisible people, good Job, V. Say something.  “What an incredible rat costume. As a cat I must say you look delicious.” She made a show of hungrily licking her lips, looking him over with her eyes like a construction worker on lunch break and gave him her best not quite Betty smile, one that might be Veronica.

“Oh, oh…” he said, smiling. “Can I offer you some of these fine chips? Instead? ”

“Oh, why not. You’re Jason, right? You worked in the library last year but we never had a shift together.”

“Jace.” He said. “You’re … ?”

“Veronica.” She tried a giggle, not too dumb sounding, not too Amber. Veronica took a handful of chips, which were fine kettle chips sprinkled with salt and pepper, and after a few handfuls went into the center room and danced with Jason. It felt clumsy and then she remembered she hadn’t really danced for a long time.  Mac gave her a thumbs-up from across the room and Wallace smiled. She waved at him happily and let Jace lead her into a swing type dance. Practicing with Lilly, she remembered, slumber parties and dancing. Lilly got these lessons paid for by her mother, taught Veronica the dancing.  Dancing with her Dad around the living room. There was some chemistry, a spark, between them. Jace smelled like spiced almonds and tasted like gin. He didn’t kiss the way Logan had, like she was the only thing in the world and he didn’t kiss like Piz, a little tentative and letting her take the lead. He kissed like himself and Veronica liked it.

After midnight, to Madison’s loudly overstated dismay, Jace and Veronica won the best couple’s costume.  Madison had come with someone Veronica had never met who was wearing a devil costume. She told Parker Jace and Veronica hadn’t come as a couple, but, they still won. Parker got her alone for a bit and asked her where Logan was, so she was happy he wasn’t still in contact with Parker but a little worried. She shrugged in answer to Parker’s question, acting indifferent because Logan, of course, disappeared off the face of the earth all the time. There was a prize, tickets for a movie together and a gift certificate at a Mexican restaurant, so they had a date. Veronica wondered if Parker was trying to set her up and refused to worry about it, but she turned Parker’s smile over in her head a few times and decided Parker probably was giving her the date with Jace, just like Wallace and Mac put up with her whining about coming here, felt a wash of grateful embarrassment. Not because of the date, because they’d do something for her.

When Jace went to use the bathroom, Veronica walked over to where Madison stood with Casey and Carrie. She’d talked to Casey for a while and he was going to call her later, Carrie was pleasant enough and she learned that Carrie and Casey weren’t dating, which was good as far as Veronica was concerned. No, she didn’t know where Logan was these days. “Hi, guys.” She said. She hadn’t talked to Madison yet.  “Madison, I hope things are going well for you. I like your costume.” Madison looked at her blankly and then nodded as she turned around to accept a drink from Dick.  _Do I learn from my past mistakes?_  Dick glared at Veronica over Madison’s glittery halo. Veronica felt a lot of satisfaction seeing his eye swollen shut.

She saw an opening and walked over to join Parker who had stepped back into a corner to keep an eye on the people. “Good party.”

“I didn’t think you’d come.”

“Uh, sorry?”

“No, it’s great. I was afraid you were mad at me. Because of Logan. Well, at first I figured you’d be together with him, after that fight in the cafeteria, but he’s gone…I guess not. I like you, Veronica.”

“Defies analysis. I asked him not to, Parker, it really wasn’t his business.”

“Well, I think you’re always his business.”

“He was happier with you than with me.” Veronica cleared her throat, sniffed and Parker looked at her piercingly. “He was, Parker. I’m just …I don’t know… his way of blowing off steam?”

“More than that.” Parker gave her a hug, which allowed Veronica to rearrange her face. “Have you heard from him?”

“Not since, maybe three weeks after I got to Quantico. Texted a bit.”

“Phone disconnected.” Parker added.

“Yeah.” The two of them fell silent for a minute. “I talked to someone about it, weirdest thing, it helped. It was nice being away from Neptune for a while. Who knew?”

“Everyone who grew up here? Mac talks about it, something about leaving her leg in the trap until she gets what she needs.”

“Darn scifi conventions, or Bronson.” Veronica said obliquely.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, San Diego ComicCon?”

“It’s a reference to some book. “ **Dune**.” Mac had made Veronica read it, not after the convention, some time in high school after they had watched the movie. “Why did you come back?”

“Once I got home Hearst didn’t seem too bad.  Probably to see Logan, a little, but other people, too. I had a new boyfriend for a few weeks, but it didn’t work out. Still looking.”

When the party started to wind down she exchanged phone numbers with Jace and a promise to meet for lunch in the food court on Monday. Jess and Piz had left to hear a band a few hours earlier, Jason lived close by and Veronica, her one beer metabolized hours ago, drove Mac and Wallace back to the dorm and got them into bed with an extra water bottle next to their beds.

“Hey, you found a boy.” Mac was truly wasted, for Mac.

“Yep.” Said Veronica, pulling off her cat paw gloves.

“You gonna go out with him?” Mac snored, suddenly asleep. Veronica rolled her carefully into a semi prone position, remembering first aid, Mac barely protested.

“Yep.” Said Veronica. “We won a prize together, dinner and a movie. I won a Jason prize.” There was a snort from the doorway but no one was there. She stepped out of the rest of her costume and into her pit bull pajamas and went to wash her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it. Kvetch at will.


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